


Pull My Hair, Make Me Scream

by HK44



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Discipline, Drabble, Hair-pulling, M/M, Pre-Relationship, ed is a brat and roy has finally had enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 19:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19279942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HK44/pseuds/HK44
Summary: Ed is a little bastard and Roy grows so fucking exhausted of his constant yelling and attempts to fight everyone in the military.





	Pull My Hair, Make Me Scream

It had been something around the end of day when Edward came stomping into Roy’s office. He was soaking wet, looking more and more like the drowned cats Alphonse rescued. In the doorway, Alphonse hovered nervously. His metal fingers clanked together while Ed grabbed the closest object on Roy’s desk - a bronze statue of a dog that Maes has bought him as a joke years ago, when they both were shacked up with the military and Roy had become a fully fledged Dog of the Military, his alchemy already being put to use.

Now Maes was six feet in the ground and Ed was transmuting the only gift Roy could bare to look at into a hair dryer, his steely golden eyes glowering deeply back at Roy’s as though challenging him.

“Uh, hey, Colonel-” Roy grit his teeth, his hand caught on Edward’s wrist. His eyes snapped to Alphonse. “-just came to drop off our report.”

“Fullmetal’s report,” Roy seethed.

He yanked the hair dryer out of Ed’s hands and transmuted it back into the statue, trying to remember the groove, the weight, the scratch on the underside where Fuery had drunkenly tried to carve a penis one night.

Snatching a towel from his drawers, he threw it at Ed’s face. “In the future, Fullmetal, you’d do best to dry off before you entered the building.”

Ed’s eyes darkness as he pulled the towel through his hair. His lips were thinned down. Behind him, Alphonse clattered nervously again.

“Actually, Colonel, it’s not raining. We just ran into a spot of trouble with the Rain Alchemist Maverick?” Alphonse said.

Roy did a double take, examining Alphone’s relatively dry armour versus Edward sopping a mess onto his floor, two minutes before Roy was off duty and allowed to leave. He sank back into his chair and grit his teeth.

“Fullmetal, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you-”

Like clockwork, as though he’d been waiting for Roy to blame him, waiting for an excuse to start screaming, Edward snapped, “It wasn’t my fucking fault!”

“Brother-”

Roy waved Alphone off as Edward continued on. “He was the one taunting me, the fucking bastard. What, because I’m younger I’m supposed to just do whatever the fuck he says?”

Cautiously Alphonse drew the door to the office closed

“If they can’t take what I give them, then they shouldn’t fucking dish it out.” Ed leaned over Roy’s desk, planting his hands firmly against the grain. His face narrowed in on Roy’s. Droplets of water strund down from his hair and dripped all over Roy’s papers. “I’m not a fucking child-”

Roy shoved his papers off to the side to avoid them soaking any further. “Fullmetal-”

“He can’t just fucking treat me like one, so, yeah, I called him a fussed up old fogey-”

Steeling his hands against the curve of his armrests, Roy clipped out, “Fullmetal-”

Edward ignored him again, slamming his hands against the desk once more. “And yeah, I swore him off but he deserved it because I didn’t bust my ass-”

“Fullmetal!”

“-all the way from Tradsberg - which is a fucking frozen useless piece of land by the way, so fuck you for sending us out there, we almost froze to death and your goddamn troops didn’t even help us one bit, even after I delivered your fucking letter - and back just to get dismissed by a man who was around when the earth was fucking exploded into existence-”

“Edward!”

“Not to mention, everyone already knows not to breathe in my fucking face and what does this bastard do? Practically spits on me with his fish fucking- OW!”

Roy dug his hand into Edward’s hair. He couldn’t remember shooting up from his chair, he didn’t remember grabbing a fistful of those long golden strands that dripped steadily onto his desk, no doubt already warping the delicate wood.

Edward grabbed his wrist. “What the fuck, Colonel?” He tried to pull Roy off of him. “Let me go!”

“Act like a brat, get treated like one,” Roy hissed. He dug his hand in deeper. Edward stumbled until he was bent awkwardly across Roy’s desk, trying to alleviate the pain. “You do not get to march into my office and start yelling about your superior officers. You are part of my team whether your ungrateful ass likes it or not.”

Edward trembled under the grip. He sprawled closer, refusing to look Roy in the eyes so Roy tanked his head back until Edward had no choice but to watch him, eyes wide and teeth biting into his lips. “I’m the one who had to stick my neck out for you to even get you through this door and you will not make me look bad just because you can’t handle the fact that you’re a goddamn child.”

Edward swallowed thickly. Roy tugged once more.

“Do I make myself clear, Fullmetal?” He didn’t answer, squirming instead. Roy bared his teeth and yanked until Edward let out a loud hiss. “Do I make myself _clear_?”

“Yes,” Ed hissed.

Roy released him immediately. Edward didn’t drop his head back as quickly. Instead he pulled his other leg up, rubbing the back of his neck slowly as he eased his head forward. Roy watched as the expanse of Edward’s neck, pale and untouched, vanished with the motion.

With his head dropped low, legs splayed out behind him and knees pulled apart, he almost looked-

Roy squashed that thought without a second’s hesitation. Instead, he quickly grabbed the report Edward had dropped on his desk before he’d touched the statue and fell back into his chair. Over the top of the folder, he could see the peek of a bulge forming in Ed’s pants.

At least, he wasn’t the only one with an untimely reaction to the events that had just transpired. Clearing his throat, he gave a dismissive wave.

Edward cracked his neck and slowly slid off the desk. He hovered at the side of it for a second before angrily snatching up the towel that had fallen to the wayside. Stealing a bunch of pens from Roy’s jar, he marched out of the office without another word.

Alphonse was still standing outside the office. He startled as the door slammed open. “Ed? Is something wrong?”

Before the door fell completely shut, Roy heard Ed snap a quick and testy, “Of course not!”

**Author's Note:**

> Might some more for this later but I dunno. I've been in a big RoyEd kick for the last couple of months but I'm not too familiar with writing them and I haven't watched the show in like two years.
> 
>  
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> [Tumblr](https://happyk44.tumblr.com/post/185703027942/ed-is-a-little-bastard-and-roy-grows-so-fucking)  
> 


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